The path is nonlinear

Summer often makes us think of the nonlinear nature of child development.

Odd? Maybe, but here’s why:

Summer is a time of in-between. In-between the intensity of the end of one school year and the beginning of the next. In-between regular routines (which can be rough for Orchids). In between one stage and the next. In theory. 

It’s a time of flux, relaxation and sometimes new experiences that take Orchids out of their comfort zone, whether that’s a new camp or travel to a new place, or simply a new schedule and routine. 

Things just seem less linear in summer, right? Similarly, our kids’ development is rarely a straight line.

There are times when kids are changing rapidly, and there are times when things seem sort of stagnant. And there are the messy in-between times when it’s not clear what’s happening.

That’s if we’re talking about expected stages in child development.

When we talk about Orchids, the situation changes a bit.

Our Orchids’ development is often alinear and in-between stages. They may be way ahead in some areas and significantly behind in others. However you slice it, Orchids’ development is rarely linear and straightforward. As Jen often shares in her experience raising Max, he often takes two steps forward, then one step back, then one step left, then he’s moving diagonally… you get the picture. He’s generally moving forward, but in an unpredictable and definitely alinear way.

Almost by definition, Orchids are working harder than the average bear to get through the day, to get through development, and to learn new things. They often need more repetition than other kids in order to learn new skills, and they often need new skills broken down into much smaller chunks than other kids. 

This means that Orchids sometimes look like they’re not learning, even when they are, because their pace might be slower. Their path might look different from what we otherwise expect because of the way they process information or show what they know.

We can remind ourselves that child development in general and Orchid development in particular have their own cycle. Their own course. Their own pace.

And sometimes that pace is slow. And that’s okay.

And sometimes that pace seems like it’s moving backwards. And that’s okay too.

I like to think of child development as a spiral (Come to think of it, I like to think of adult development as a spiral too…): we learn skills, use them, hone them, perfect them and then set about learning new skills that build from there.

Sometimes learning a new skill means we have to go back and revisit the “old skill.”

Here’s a speech example:

When kids are learning to talk, we expect most of their words to consist of a consonant-vowel format early on. “Bah!” = “Ball”; “Kah!” = Car; etc.

But as kids’ language skills develop, they also change the way they’re saying these words that they already know. The complexity increases as they progress up the ‘speech and language spiral.’ 

We expect both things: a simplified start and then gradual increase in complexity and skill. But we also don’t worry when some sounds take longer to learn than others. When some words take longer to learn than others. Or when some words get fuzzier before they get clearer.

It’s the same across the board – not just speech and language. Kids take their own sweet time and they mozy down the path sometimes. 

Remembering that the path isn’t linear can help remind us to slow down and enjoy the journey. 

xo G & J

P.S. If you could use more robust support in raising your Orchid child, we have our next 8-week online practical strategies class starting in the Fall. More info and registration are available here. If you’d like to join our free Raising Orchid Kids Facebook Group, come join us!