Thanks, Mom.

I’ve coached enough families by now to know that manners are a big topic of discussion. We want our kids to have Good Manners. We don’t want them to be rude. We want them to be Nice People. We don’t want them to be Jerks.


We want them to say “please” and “thank you”. 

We want them to chew with their mouths closed.

We want them to appreciate the things we do for them.


It turns out that kids have to be a little older in order to appreciate the things we do for them (like a lot older. Like, basically, adults), so we’re gonna let that one lie for now (and come back to it later).


But, for the basics, like “please” and “thank you”, here’s what you need to know:


Your children will need MANY MORE PRACTICE OPPORTUNITIES of this than you think they should need.


Particularly for kids who are late talkers or who have any kind of expressive or receptive language delay, repetition is hugely important. It might take a child with autism many many practices to master the art of saying “thank you”. It might take a child with apraxia - who has trouble saying sounds - many opportunities to say “please” in a recognizable way. 


Here’s the good news: there are TONS of opportunities during the week to teach and practice manners. And if we can stay calm while we repeat ourselves 10000000000 times, our kids will also stay calm enough to learn them.


Manners are learned mostly by modeling, not by teaching. Which means that our kids need to SEE US USING OUR MANNERS and then also practice using theirs


Many

Many

Many

Times.


You’ll have an easier time teaching manners if you embed them into daily life. Check out the video for exactly how to do this, but here are the basics. If you build the practicing and the modeling of manners into your daily routine, you’ll be practicing them consistently and frequently. And that’s how you get to mastery.


So, if YOU say, “Thanks, mom” every time you hand your child an item that they want, your child will hear you say that 134594583 times and eventually begin to repeat it (because it’s just what happens).  See how easy that is? So much easier than yelling at your kid every time they forgot to say “thank you”. 


And WAY more effective. I promise.

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