Motherhood should be a certain way
The Gist:
+Motherhood isn’t actually what it looks like in the photos (hopefully this is not news!).
+What it’s like for you is what it’s like.
+If you need help, get some!
The Longer Version:
If you believe what you see on social media, and magazines and TV and pretty much everywhere, Motherhood is either:
Completely fabulous, completely glamorous and completely easy.
Smiling, thin, perfectly coiffed and made up women pose for adorable photos with adorable cuties, who are clean and smiling in their designer strollers, with their designer outfits and their designer (all natural!) toys.
Not a hair out of place.
Nary a stain in sight.
No burpcloths.
No blowouts that go up the back and out the sides of a too-small diaper.
No evidence of months of interrupted sleep.
Or, it’s completely exhausting and horrible and awful.
You hate your life.
You hate your spouse.
You are exhausted and have settled for an existence filled with chaos and strife.
NOPE.
The truth is somewhere in between.
Some moments are wonderful and amazing.
Some are (literally and figuratively) shitty.
But there are some things I think might be universally true:
We wouldn’t have believed them if they had told us, but new (and not-so-new) mothers know that life with a baby, toddler or preschooler can best be described as:
Sticky;
(As in, gooey, grimey, boogery, slimey, wet, stinky, dirty, or at the very least - messy)
Confusing;
(As in, who is this alien that I have brought home with me and why are they acting like that?)
(And by the way, who am I now that I have an alien on top of me most of the time, who never wants me out of their sight?)
And downright terrifying at times
(As in, will my child ever sleep through the night? Will I ever have sex again? Will I ever want to? And, is the thing my kid is doing right now even normal? And, are they still breathing?)
The reality of motherhood is that it changes EVERYTHING about EVERYTHING.
Especially if your child needs a little extra.
Especially if your child is having some developmental challenges.
Especially if your child is harder to parent than many kids.
Add the usual stress of parenting onto a child who needs something more or different from other kiddos, and then things get really wonky.
You sleep even less.
You worry even more.
You ask even more intense questions.
Questions like: will my child ever ____? (walk, talk, learn, go to school, get married, have a job, have friends)
Questions like: what does my child need from me? And from life?
Questions like: how will I get through this?
When these are the questions you’re asking, you need support.
You need a team.
You need a tribe.
Find them!!
All my best-
Gabriele