Holiday Conversations

Well, thank you very much Covid-19, the holidays are just the latest things that look and feel completely different this year. 


BUT - rather than Grinch out on it, here are a couple of ways you can respond to your kiddos this holiday season.


VERY YOUNG CHILDREN are not going to remember much about last Christmas, and this is your blessing in disguise! The fact that they don’t remember how the holidays “should” be is your lucky ticket.


Your “get out of jail free” card.


Your permission (in case you needed it) to LET YOURSELF OFF THE HOOK for creating a perfect holiday.


Let yourself off the hook.


Let yourself off the hook.


I’m not saying don’t celebrate. I’m not saying don’t spoil your kids and make merry and prepare all the foods that say “home” to you… If that feels right.


But if it doesn’t feel right, or if the pandemic has forced a set of circumstances on you, make peace with your new (hopefully temporary) reality and move on. If a completely different celebration feels like it’s in order this year -- embrace it. 


Go with it. 

Covid gives you permission.

I give you permission. 

And who are we kidding? -- you just need to give yourself permission. 


OLDER CHILDREN will know that things are really different this year, and so this one, you’ll have to handle. 


Watch for changes in their behavior. 

Listen for concerns (“is Santa still coming?”).


And when they come to you, acknowledge that this year feels different. Spend time talking about your own feelings. Spend time exploring their feelings. Put words around what you are feeling so that they can put words around what they might be experiencing.


DO NOT SKIP OVER THIS STEP! 


It can feel tempting to jump right to reassuring our kids that we love them that the world is fine and that Santa is coming and that everything is ok and that even though grammy and grampy can’t come over they’re still sending all their love and everything is fine fine fine fine fine fine.


Resist this temptation with kids who are old enough to be asking you questions about how this holiday season will be different. Skipping straight to “it’s fine” is a form of lying, because, of course, it’s NOT FINE. It’s messed up. And hard. And different.


This is an exceptional time. But it can also be joy-filled, meaningful and festive.


Wishing you and your family all the best for a peaceful holiday season.

Gabriele


PS - if you’ve been feeling overwhelmed this Fall (and who hasn’t); if you’re feeling like you’re relying on screens more than you should (just to get some peace); if you’re feeling like you’re yelling at your kids all the time, check out some new offerings at www.raisingorchidkids.com. We’ve got our Practical Strategies for Challenging Children coming up in January, AND we have NEW PARENT SUPPORT GROUPS starting up in January as well! 


Visit www.raisingorchidkids.com for more info, or you can always email us at info@speechkids.com

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