Change Is The Only Constant
My son is graduating from High School this week.
I can’t quite believe it. It seems like yesterday that he was born.
That he was waking me up in the middle of the night to be fed or changed or rocked back to sleep.
It seems like a minute ago that I had to give him a bath and tuck him in at night. And wake up at Oh-Dark-Thirty to give him breakfast. Take him to the playground; take him to school; take him to playdates and birthday parties and soccer practice.
These days he drives the car or public transportation to get himself around.
He comes home late (and wakes up late!).
He does his thing.
With his people.
And sometimes he hangs out at home with his family. (But less and less often.)
He is a marvelous human being. He is kind. He is funny. He is interesting and fun to be around. He has great friends. He’s smart and inquisitive. He’s become a serviceable tennis player. He plays an excellent classical guitar.
He is (almost) a Grown A** Man.
As I write all of this, it’s easy to think that there was one thing that led to the creation of a Competent Human. That there is some grand moment when it all Came Together.
Nope.
It’s only in looking backwards that I see how it all unfolded and how tiny steps led in certain directions. How certain choices that my husband and I made early on have impacted the results of this not-yet-quite-adult-but-almost-child of ours.
But I think the biggest “principle” -- to the extent that there were principles involved -- was that we tried to be aware that the game was constantly changing.
That the things our infant needed were not the same as what our toddler needed.
That the things our preschooler needed were not the same as what our elementary schooler needed.
That the things our middle schooler needed were not the same as what our high schooler needed.
It’s hard to remember that the game is constantly changing when you’re in the middle of it. It’s hard to stay mindful enough to recognize when a routine isn’t working anymore. When a habit has stopped being helpful.
And now we’re beginning a new chapter of change. With different rules. With new routines to create. With new dynamics.
I’m both excited and a bit wistful.
And that’s ok. Both emotions can be true. And being aware of that will help me navigate what is to come next.
For now, I’m so proud of my boy. He is a magnificent human, and I tell him so as often as I think he’ll tolerate it. And I’m so lucky to be his mom.
PS. If you are feeling like you’re not sure how to navigate the changing landscape of parenting -- particularly if you’re parenting an Orchid Child -- I hope you’ll consider joining us on July 22nd for our next cohort of Raising Orchid Kids. Details are at www.raisingorchidkids.com.