What does it mean? Positive discipline.

What you need to know:

  • Positive discipline is a way of shaping children’s behavior

  • It is based on the idea that children are autonomous, independent beings worthy of respect (even if they are still ignorant of a lot of life’s rules)

  • Getting compliance by force might feel like a win in the short term, but it won’t get you the results you want over the long haul.

  • Toddler Talk Online Program for parents can help


Positive discipline encompasses a set of strategies that are designed to highlight a child’s good behavior and downplay/ignore/eliminate the less desirable ones. It’s based on the work of Adler and Dreikurs and the idea that children are worthy of respect, that they are autonomous beings and that they are still learning the “rules of the road”. Their “bad behaviors” are just mistakes that can be corrected (with positive discipline).


  • The main principles of positive discipline are that it: 

  • Helps children feel a sense of connection with their grown ups.

  • Is kind and firm at the same time.

  • Considers the situation from the child’s perspective, motivation and emotions 

  • Uses modeling (remember this?) to teach important social and life skills.

  • Invites children to exercise their autonomy (oh! This is a hard one for parents!)

  • When we treat our children with respect, they learn how to respect others ,when we problem solve WITH our children, they learn problem solving, when we model  cooperation, our children learn to cooperate.


But positive discipline doesn’t just mean ignoring bad stuff and highlighting the good stuff. It’s based on a belief that children will learn to be internally motivated and that they will develop an internal moral compass that will drive their future behavior. It’s designed to be a long-term strategy with long-term results, rather than a way of getting children to “behave” in the short-term. Because of this, though, it can sometimes be a challenge to use. It can feel easier in the moment of discipline to use a Time Out or to yell. To get compliance rather than understanding.


But compliance comes at a price. Using physical size or yelling in order to scare our kiddos into behaving only works until they are big enough and loud enough to yell and intimidate us right back. It might take a few years, but it will happen. And that’s not where any parent really wants to go, is it?


Little kids can be hard. Little kids can be demanding. Little kids can test the outer limits of our patience. And a quick fix can feel like the right answer. And for life and death situations, maybe it is. But for the rest, remembering that your child is an autonomous, unique being who needs connection with you in order to feel safe, can help guide you through some pretty tough stuff.


If you’re struggling to stay positive when your child “misbehaves”, check out my online Toddler Talk Program for parents, which uses principles from positive discipline models to create routines and easier days with your toddler.


All my best -

Gabriele

VideosGabriele Nicoletspeechtherapy, Gabriele Nicolet, Speech Kids, Choices, parenting choices, Toddler Talk, Speechkids, tantrums, get through it, how-to, speechkids, Toddlertalk, speechpathology, childdevelopment, messyplay, Toddlerplay, Toddlermomlife, Toddlerfun, #speechtherapy, #speechkids, #toddlertalk, #speechpathology, #SLP, #speechtherapist, #slpeeps, #earlyintervention, #autismmom, #Toddlertantrums, #Playmatters, #Momlife, #Toddlerdevelopment, #Developingthewholechild, #Toddleractivities, #messyplay, #Toddlerplay, #Toddlermomlife, #Toddlerfun, #positiveparenting, #parentingComment