The Gist

• Our kids have very little control over their own lives.

• Time In gives them the opportunity to exert some (positive) control.

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In your better moments, you’ve noticed this astonishing fact:  on days when you’re really plugged into your kids and really listening and not distracted by the myriad things that need doing, your kids are so easy to be with. EasiER anyway.

But those were the days when you cleared the decks completely and dedicated yourself entirely to your little ones. You just CAN’T do that all the time.

Agreed.

You can’t -- nor should you, by the way, be expected to be available and “on” for your kids 24/7.

But I bet you can schedule 10-20 minutes on most days to just be with them. 

I bet you can carve out a little bit of time each day for Time In with your child.

“But will that little amount of time matter?” you ask.

YES YES YES! 

Remember this: 

Kids have very little control in their lives.

Almost none, actually. 

Someone else tells them when they’re allowed to get out of bed.

Someone else tells them when it’s time to eat

Someone else tells them when they’re allowed to play outside.

You get the drift.

But, we all WANT a little control over ourselves and our lives, right? (I know I do!)

Clearly, our kids are not ready to be in full control of themselves. They’re little brains just aren’t ready. But they are ready for a little bit of control.

Time in is a way to give safe control to very young children.

Time In is about letting your child lead. It’s about letting them have control over what happens for those few minutes a day. In a safe environment. In play. With you.

Think of it this way: you set up an investment account with a mutual fund company, and every day, week, month, you contribute a little bit of money to the account. You don’t dump your whole paycheck into it -- just a small portion each time you get paid. Even after only three months, you’ve already got more than what you put in, right? That’s the magic of compounded interest. Now think about that little bit of money invested every week for 20 years -- BOOM! A million dollars.

In the same way, a short amount of time spent in Time In with your child each day (or as often as you can), will net you HUGE amounts of good will, flexibility and ease when you need it later.

Here are some reasons why Time In works:

It gives children a measure of control 

It gives kids time to process situations and feelings

Kids feel connected to their grown ups

It front-loads good will and positive experiences into our relationships with our kids

Kids feel heard, seen and understood

Just like compound interest for your financial accounts, Time In is a POWERFUL tool that can help you in your relationship “accounts”. Use it!!

I’ll tell you more in the next video.

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All my best-

Gabriele