A couple of weeks ago, we talked about the importance of imitation for social development. (and if you missed that video, you can watch it HERE).

Now we’re going to talk about initiation. 

Initiation is another one of these skills that we don’t ever think about much...until someone isn’t doing it.

One of the things I do at work is to observe kiddos in their ‘natural habitats’ (in their homes and schools -- it’s one of my favorite things to do!). 

You can learn so much about a child from just watching. And one of the things I love to watch for is initiation. 

How often a child goes to their parent to show them a toy.

How often a child goes to their parent to lead them to the snack cabinet

How often a child looks over at their parent and makes a sound to get their attention 

How often a child points to something and then looks at their parent 

(and this last one is a two-fer: initiation + joint attention, yes!)

The average toddler initiates communication with their grown ups anywhere from 5 to 10 times per minute.

Yep. Per minute.

That means that every few seconds, a child who is developing good communication skills is looking at, pulling at, showing to, vocalizing toward and demanding attention from their adult.

But in many of the kids I see, this isn’t happening.

And maybe it’s not happening for a child you know.

Many of the kids on my caseload respond more than they initiate. They wait for the adult to talk first. 

And then they answer.

And then they wait for the adult to talk again.

And then they answer again.

Rinse. Repeat.

This might not seem like a problem at the outset. But, think about how an interaction like this goes.

Parent: here’s your breakfast. (initiation)

Child: quietly accepts breakfast (response)

Parent: is it hot? (initiation)

Child: too hot (response)

Parent: want me to blow on it? (initiation)

Child: blow on it (response)

Do you see how this conversation is pretty much a dead end? Parent asks; child answers. But that’s it.

In a robust social interaction or conversation, BOTH parties take turns initiating. Both parties show. Both parties tell. Both parties ask. 

It’s like a chain. The interactions are linked together by responses and initiations. Consider this:

Child: Breakfast! (initiation)

Parent: You want to eat. Here’s your breakfast (response and initiation)

Child: mmmm! Hot? (response and initiation)

Parent: not too hot. Do you want me to blow on it? (response and initiation)

Child: [blowing noise] (response)

Parent: [blows on the food], There you go. How is it now? (response and initiation)

Child: [tries the oatmeal] mm. No hot. (response and initiation)

Parent: nope. Not hot anymore. (response)

Do you see how different those two interactions are. And in the first, the child is actually using more words (but fewer initiations).

Initiation is a big deal. It tells us about how a child is able to command their environment; how they’re able to express themselves and how they’re able to interact with and relate to the people around them.

And that’s what it’s all about after all.

If you wonder about your child’s level of initiation, or if you have been worried about your child’s level of interaction with others, now is exactly the right time to ask those questions. Don’t hesitate to reach out. We’re here to answer questions anytime.