Ok, folks!

Halloween has come and gone — I hope it was fun for all involved (in whatever child-led way you chose to celebrate!). We’d love to see photos over in our private Facebook Group, Raising Orchid Kids. (And if you haven’t joined yet – DO! We have some fun and also learn stuff over there!)

Now all that’s left is the Halloween fallout: Too Much Candy.

So, what’s your strategy?  How are you managing? 

Are there long negotiations every day about WHEN and HOW MUCH? 

Are there sugar-high related meltdowns? 

Did you buy back the candy? Or maybe just take some out of the bag while certain people weren’t looking? Allow them to eat as much as they wanted at once and then throw the rest away? Send it to soldiers on deployment?

I’d love to hear back about what’s working and what’s not. Better yet - put it in the FB group thread so that you can directly help other families who are experiencing the same issues.

Here’s what I did when my kids were little (and why I did it this way).

I never wanted my kids to think that candy was Bad. But I did want them to learn to eat it in moderation. With this in mind, it made sense to me at the time to allow them to eat 2 pieces per day. (Could have been some other number I suppose, but that’s what I came up with.)

I also decided that THEY would be in charge of WHEN they ate their two pieces of candy…. Even if that was before breakfast (and most days it was - ew.)

This system was mostly an attempt at avoiding daily negotiations and conversations like:

Is it time to eat candy yet?

When can I have the candy?

How come I can’t have it now?

Why does one big piece equal two pieces?

I really want it now!

They were in control of the timing (if not the amount). They were in control of which pieces of candy they chose (regardless of size). They knew what the system was, and I didn’t change it once it had been established.

Was this The Perfect System and The Only Answer? 

Nope.

But it was the one that I could solidly and unequivocally carry out: both in my words and in my nonverbal communication.

I was totally sure in my body and in my brain that I was making a good choice on their behalf. Which meant I had no trouble calmly enforcing the two-piece limit if they tried to get around that. And it meant that I didn’t have to deal at all with any timing-based questions.

Kids respond to this kind of alignment and authenticity. They respond to consistency. They respond to predictability. They like to know what to expect.

So, no – the particulars of the system don’t really matter much. It mostly matters whether you believe that the rules you’re making make sense and that they are understandable to the kids involved. 

Because if you are the slightest little bit UNsure about your approach, your kids will know it and exploit it. Not because they’re manipulating you. But because they are being Strategic in their aim to get what they want (in this case: more candy).

So, tell me: What’s your CMS this year?? I’d love to hear!!

xo G