I got some puzzled emails and looks from last week’s message. If you didn’t get a chance to read it, you can find the post about how It’s Not Your Fault HERE.

Some people were confused about how one can accept that things are the way they are while also pursuing early intervention.

The answer is that it’s a both, and situation.

We can accept that our child is autistic AND work to help them to operate in the world.

We can accept that our child is a Late Talker AND work with a speech/language professional to learn strategies that will help them communicate better.

We can accept that our child has apraxia AND provide every opportunity for them to express themselves verbally.

We can accept that our child has cognitive limitations due a genetic syndrome AND provide therapies that will improve performance and independence.

We can accept that our child is nonspeaking AND give them a systematic way to communicate in the form of a speech generating device.

In fact, it’s only when we fully accept our children for who they are and the skills that they either have or don’t have, that we can really help them thrive.

This gets complicated, so bear with me for a minute.

Let’s take an autism diagnosis as an example.

We can look at a child with autism and think that they are broken and flawed. That they are Other. Not Normal.

OR – we can look at a child with autism and think that their brain is wired differently from ours, and also that they are themself.

If they are broken, then we are in the position of trying to “fix”  (what does that even mean), and we will always be disappointed. Something will always be “wrong”; something will always need tweaking. We will exhaust ourselves trying to find The Thing that will put an end to the brokenness.

If we accept that our child is who they are, then we are in the position of asking, “how can I help you be fully yourself in the world?” and “how can I make life more accessible to you?”. And then the whole world opens up: we start focusing on who they are, what they want and how to help them get it.

Of course, like most things, it sounds simple enough, and it’s not easy. (See what I did there? Another both, and!)

Navigating parenthood is full of these “needle-threading” moments for all of us. And for parents of Orchid Kids, even more so.

If you’re having trouble accepting your child for who they are and how they show up right now, that’s completely expected! You just don’t want to hang out there permanently. Staying stuck in resistance is no way to parent. It’s no way to live your one beautiful life.

Work through as you’re able. Get help if you can. You - and your Orchid - will be glad you did. 

Our current Raising Orchid Kids class is full, but we’ll run another one in the summer. Until then, you can join our FREE Raising Orchid Kids Facebook group to get connected to other parents, to ask your questions and to share your concerns about your Orchid Kid.

xo G

TL;DR: It is possible to both accept children as they are (warts and all) AND provide intervention that will help them thrive. If that seems like an oxymoron or too hard, join us on Facebook in our free Raising Orchid Kids group.