Boredom
The Gist:
Boredom is GOOD FOR KIDS
Create space and opportunity for boredom (and then creativity) by not overscheduling your kids
Model this for your kids (Hard!)
Read More:
We live at a time when there are soooo many things to DO ALL THE TIME. We live at a time when DOINGNESS is perceived as being even higher than godliness. Depending on where you live, there are cultural events, sports events, social events all the time - not just for adults and big kids, but toddlers too. Add in access to the internet and you’ve got a perfect recipe for never having to think of something to do and for thinking that you have to be occupied at all times.
Developmentally, almost all toddlers and many preschoolers are just not ready for organized activities. And they’re certainly not ready for multiple activities.
Toddlers and preschoolers learn and develop best when they have loooong stretches of time to explore.
To discover. To sit and watch the ants on the sidewalk. To watch the cars go by at the window. To listen to the wind in the trees. To wind and unwind a ball of string. As many times as they want.
When we over-schedule our kids, we lose opportunities to just let them do their thing because we’re so busy looking ahead to the Next Thing. We’re too busy planning to get somewhere that we forget about the magic of where we are.
You know that moment when your child is driving you crazy because they’re taking so long to get in the car because they’re watching something and you're going to be late for ballet class?
THAT’S the moment to stop and let them do their thing. That’s the moment that will save you from boredom later.
When we entertain or provide entertainment for our kids all the time, we create the expectation they should be entertained at all times, and THAT THEY DON’T HAVE TO WORK AT DOING SOMETHING THEMSELVES.
Allowing space and time to be bored might be the best gift you give your kids.
And yourself.
But how?
Resist the cultural urge to schedule every last blooming minute of your life. Plan for free time by not planning activities. This was challenging for me when my kids were little because sometimes those long stretches of play time made me feel like my brain was turning to mush, and that all my adult skills - social and otherwise - were being lost. (They weren’t.)
Spending long periods of time on the floor playing with or supervising Littles can be boring, but it can also set the stage for l
Make a list of things to do when you/your child are bored. Do this ahead of time and post it on the fridge (https://youtu.be/3D6BnCv_GCA)
Plan for Time In every day. Time In (or child-directed time) is when you devote some amount of time to following your child’s lead as they play, without trying to lead or show them anything in particular.
When your child looks like they need something to do, resist the urge to prescribe something. See if they can come to something on their own. Then, if they have trouble, propose a couple of options.
For older kids, (5-10), I used to keep a list of chores that I wanted done. When my kids came to me and said they were bored, I’d say, “Great! I need you to take out the trash, etc.” Nothing worked better for helping them find their own thing to do!
Boredom is not the enemy. Agreed?
All my best-
Gabriele