I’ve been listening to Hannah Gadsby’s memoir lately, and it’s amazing in so many different ways. (If you don’t know Hannah Gadsby, she’s an autistic queer comedian from Tasmania with 2 Netflix specials – watch them!)

One of the many things she has to say about her autistic brain is this:

As a child (and even now), she tends to pay attention to what is Interesting rather than what is Important.

💡 💡 💡 LIGHTBULB MOMENT! 💡 💡 💡  

We know from the research that  - among other attributes - autistic brains tend to seek patterns, tend to see minute details, and that they might miss the larger context of interactions, situations and settings.

And Hannah Gadsby laid it down in one sentence: that “Big Picture” stuff is not Interesting (even though it might be Important).

Ok, but why am I highlighting this right now? What’s the relevance for your child? For the kiddos and families that we see at SpeechKids and Raising Orchid Kids?

A couple of things.

The idea that autistic brains seek what is interesting over what is important MATTERS in intervention. It means that therapists MUST find what is Interesting to the child and use that as a bridge to what is Important (at a pace that the child can handle).

At a practical level, it means that we need to follow the child’s interests rather than imposing our own agendas. I know from experience that the only thing that happens when I push my agenda is that kiddos pull away and run the other direction (sometimes literally).

And so, if your child is in some kind of intervention where you’re seeing a lot of therapist-imposed material and your child is responding by running away or shutting down, consider making a change. Something’s not working.

It means we need to go at the child’s pace so that we don’t overwhelm their nervous system. If we try to go too fast into The Important, autistic brains become overwhelmed and (once again) run away/shut down/stop learning.

A good reminder for parents as you try to incorporate new skills into daily life. Just because kiddo can do something in therapy doesn’t mean they’re ready for “prime time” quite yet. Be patient. Go slow.

There is so much juicy information about kiddos in what they find Interesting if we don’t judge it.

Autistic kids find all kinds of things Interesting: dinosaurs, planets, animals, vehicles - these are some of the biggies. But some interests are things that a neurotypical person would find random and strange: elevators, car keys, large numbers, minor comic book characters.

When we stay curious about our kids’ interests, we have the opportunity to really allow them to feel Seen and Understood. Who are we to judge what someone else’s interests are? Why do we have to label someone’s interests as “appropriate” or “inappropriate”? Chew on that for a minute.

Knowing that autistic brains are paying attention to what’s interesting vs. what’s important puts their behavior into a helpful frame of reference. They’re not inattentive on purpose. In fact, they're not inattentive at all! They’re just paying attention to something ELSE! It explains so much, no?

It allows us to ask the question: what’s so interesting about this for you? Without judgment, without concern. Just with interest and curiosity.

And when we can get into interest and curiosity (I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again!) Good Things happen.

So, can you stay just a little bit longer in interest and curiosity the next time your autistic Orchid does or says something “strange” (I actually like the term ‘unexpected’, as it’s a lot less judgy). 

When they do something unexpected, can you pause and ask yourself, “I wonder what’s so interesting to them about this”?

When they say something over and over again, can you wonder, “What purpose is this phrase serving for them right now”?

What might you learn when you practice this skill??? Let us know!!

xo G

TL;DR Autistic brains have a tendency to pay attention to what is interesting to them, not what is deemed “important” by the outside world. Knowing this matters. What can you learn when you pause and wonder what might be interesting to your kiddo?