Invariably, when parents start trying to do Time in regularly, someone will come back to me and say “it’s not working”. If that’s the case for you, don’t worry! There’s a simple fix for when Time In “doesn’t work”. It’s simple, but a little counterintuitive, though, so bear with me.

When  “bad behavior” happens during Time In, it usually means that you’re trying too hard.

“HUH?”, you ask. 

I’ll explain.

For example, if your child is throwing toys or engaging in behavior that is designed to get your attention, make you mad, or push your buttons, chances are you’ve overstepped. 

You tried to show them something.

You tried to take the play in a different direction from the one they had in mind.

You tried to teach them about something.

In other words: you took control away from your child, and they are telling you (through their “bad” behavior) that they’re uncomfortable; that they don’t like; that they want you to stop it.

OOPS.

That’s not at all what you meant, is it?

Nope.

So, rather than “doing the discipline”, ending Time In, and making sure Junior knows that “we don’t throw toys”, just back off. Let it go. Go back to watching. Go back to just sportscasting. Sit back and relax.

Shoot me an email at info@speechkids if you’re staring disbelievingly at the screen. I’d love to hear your questions.

All my best-

Gabriele